April, 2006

Apr 06

Random flickr photos

Jonathan says

Man, it’s odd finding random pics of yourself on flickr.

I couldn’t agree more. Although it’s not a total belter like his one, I found it by just randomly clicking around.

Apr 06

The Lake District

My Mum and I have just returned from an excellent couple of days in the Lake District. Mum decided to come at the last minute when she heard Stuart had battered his leg again and she realised she wanted to get away from home for a while.

We had just arrived and were eating a pub dinner in Ambleside on our first night when, completely randomly, in walked my Mum’s brother, his wife, their two children and their families. A brilliant, once in a lifetime coincidence. I hadn’t seen my cousins for twelve years! It gave us some company that night and it also gave Mum people to hang about with while I went off biking on Saturday. It was an OK loop that the guys from Biketreks (good shop) had shown me on the map – 50km, a little too rocky in places for my tastes but it was excellent getting out on my first decent ride of the season.

Today my seatpost bolt snapped while I was going along the road no-handed. I was really lucky – it was only 500m into the ride, I was only going about 10mph and I only got a bit of road rash on my bum. I’ve been going through a real no-handed phase recently and it could have been so much worse. I headed back to Biketreks, bodged a replacement and went off to do the little 25km loop with my hands firmly on the bars. It was wicked – hardly any wind, the sun was out and the trails were really nice.

What a great trip to start the season – top weather, enough miles to satisfy, met some of my family and had loads of laughs hanging about and drinking coffee with my Mum for a few days. Magic.

Apr 06

Some ScottishClimbs stats

SC stats, April 06

I wonder if you can spot when Dave Macleod climbed Rhapsody, the world’s first E11? He also put it in our new routes database and gave us his report of the ascent, which helped the traffic too. The second spike is when UKClimbing went down after a major disk crash.

Apr 06

A new blog engine

RSS readers may not have noticed, but I’ve finally migrated this site to Typo on our new server (Mike has too!). My old WordPress 1.2 install desperately needed upgrading and I just fancied a change.

Comments are enabled again and hopefully I’ll be able to control the spam better now. No more gallery, I’m using my Flickr account now.

OK, next task is the SCWiki.

EDIT: it isn’t going well. The two Typo installs on this box are leaking memory like a bastard. It has been suggested to me that the problem lies in some compiled code somewhere, but I’m not so convinced. Running the Apache benchmark tool on the Typo installs on this box makes their memory usage shoot up from 29megs to 79megs (it doesn’t go down again). In contract, the unfinished ScottishClimbs rewrite code doesn’t budge in memory usage when hammered with the same benchmark command. It may not be as simple as this, but it certainly appears to be a Typo problem to me. Sod it, I’m off to the Lakes. I’ll worry about this when I get back.

Apr 06

Trippy cartoon

Pedro showed me these entertaining, often disturbing cartoons.

Salad Fingers and Toast Boy are exceptionally trippy.

Apr 06

Random porn stories in Ruby

I’d never done a Ruby Quiz challenge before, but the latest one sounded like especially good fun. At a party after clubbing the other night, Jason told us that his ex-girlfriend used to write dirty stories for porn magazines for a couple of hundred quid a pop. This was the final inspiration I needed.

I wrote a Markov Chains algorithm and although it’s a straightforward problem, it was quick and really good fun. I won’t bother posting my code here, it’s quick and dirty (and it’s all lowercase, but I’ve been partying this weekend and my short attention span for such things has run out) – search the Ruby-talk mailing list in a few days (once people are allowed to post their answers to the quiz) and there will be loads of excellent ideas there.

Of course, it will generate any old crap, but I’ve only fed it porny stories from Google, because I can’t think how I could get funnier output. I tried mixing in some emails from my friends, but that didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped. Still, naughty words are cool.

OK, now cue a load of hits from the search engines :). Here are a couple of short ones, around 250 words (a nasty hack prevents me getting an exact number of words shrug):

they were lovers from afar, meeting clandestinely almost everyday. one lived in new england, while the other somewhere in the game and each sister found implements suitable for such purposes; a pencil or a pen. at times, a neighborhood friend would be asked to join in the back of her husband. winnie described must be extremely careful to maintain their secrecy from the two young women and a faint feeling came over her. she began to develop between her legs.winnie, with difficulty, began to insinuate into the jelly and scooped a dab. painstakingly, she drew her middle finger at her computer and with trembling hands, she managed to pull down her panties in order for winnie to take a deep breath and hold it. at the keys for her immediate reply to christina. this time, she would have more time, she pulled it out completely and timidly brought it to access that story. she sat back in her tummy. one particular story caught her attention. scanning down the length of the threesome that played doctor in their secret place. after fingering her rear passage for sometime, her arm began to re-read those mesmerizing words.as the three little girls were playing doctor and taking each other’s temperatures, winnie put herself in her tummy.

anne abandoned herself completely to the soft breeze, and naked exposure titallating. she would sometimes masturbate on the closest patio chair, revealing as the shock dissipated, that she was more fair, and her face lit up in a circular fashion her clitoris, first slowly, and then more rapidly. the small lips surrounding her vaginal opening were pulled rhytmically as the shock dissipated, that she was also turned on. jessica’s moistened body was covered in sweaty moisture over its entire length. anne’s eyes were still closed. her rapid breathing becoming mild moans and sighs. anne abandoned herself completely to the back of her breast, kneading avidly while twisting and abusing the nipple. pleasure rolled in waves through her body, emanating from her breasts and thighs. she smiled at jessica’s flirtations, tracing with her left hand grabbing the zipper on anne’s shorts, pulling the zipper down. anne stood frozen. she could now see a wedge of dark pubic hair, then, her buttocks returning to the back of her secluded mansion. she enjoyed sunbathing nude alone in her face. her complexion was more fair, and her body soft and voluptious, compare to the soft curves of the body before her and jessica.

Edit: I’m sure many people have done this already – it would be cool to use Markov Chains to write a program to generate random techno music. I don’t really know anything about music but I think the same basic principles should apply (although I doubt you could knock it together in a few hours on a Sunday afternoon). I’ll file that one under the “when I win the lottery” category.

The lack of spaces after the full-stops are thanks to the original authors!