July, 2005

18
Jul 05

Girly magazine sillyness

I read a girly magazine that my flatmate left on the table while I was eating my breakfast today. Check out some of this crap (direct quotes), from an article titled His date moves decoded>

“His hands cover his crotch = he’s indecisive and wants looking after.

He looks away to the left while talking to you = he’s thinking of his past – could be one of his exes!

He looks away to the right while talking to you = he’s imagining something. If he’s facing you, he could be fantasising about you.”

“He is lying back in his chair = he’s letting you know how great he’d look in bed.”

“If the tongue pokes out of his mouth, he’s signalling disapproval, or even disgust. You’re probably not the date he was looking for, but don’t take it too personally – this man is just telling you you’re not his ideal.”

“A raised eyebrow is a signal of active interest. The initial signs would appear to be very positive.”

Well, if hell ever gets cold enough and I actually manage to get a date with someone who reads this, I’m going to be completely and unfairly fucked (not in the good sense). I do all of this stuff all the time – I must have an active interest in every single person I meet, fantasise about everyone on the planet, be disgusted at everything, think I’m great in bed and be very indecisive all the time.

What a load of guff. A complete bag of nonsense. I’m just restless enough to move around all the time – I certainly don’t signal all my mates that I’m great in bed, that I’m interested in them and that I want looking after (yeuch!). I’m telling you, it’ll be just my luck… :roll:


18
Jul 05

News sillyness

I heard on the radio today that the NHS maternity conditions in England and Wales are very poor. Now while this may well be a very valid point, the quote on the radio made me laugh enough to nearly spit out my sandwich. It went something like this:

“After such a terrible time in the maternity ward, I decided to have a home birth. The conditions were awful: I spent several hours in a room with white walls and lots of complicated and scary looking medical equipment in it. I mean, really, how am I meant to relax in such a place?”

Where do they find these people? Medical equipment in a hospital – whatever next? The white walls must’ve been the final straw though, I’m sure.